Do you all still blog?

Look. I know I am totally inconsistant with this blogging thing, but I just re-read every post I've ever written and it encouraged me to continue. Even though it is easier to just put something silly up on Facebook. Even though I don't think anyone really reads this anymore. Even though I don't always have anything very elequent to say.
But I love all the stories about the kids and work and Nathan, and I have lots more to tell, so if it is OK with you shall we get back at it?

Guess what? I am back at my old job that I love! I've been back at it part time since May-ish, so old news, but I've been doing lots of sampling lately and I'm getting in a good groove and pretty happy with it. The economy is keeping us on our toes about the premanancy of it, but I'll take it while I can.

Baby Isla is almost one. No kidding. ONE. She has been taking a few walking steps every day too. It takes my breath away how quickly time has flown by this last year. Wasn't she born just last month? I mean really, I still have some maternity things in my closet (that I may or may not still sometimes wear but lets not talk about that). She is almost one. She gets weighed again on November 16th, and I'm guessing she will be close to 22 pounds. She got big! Just like Simon it turns out she likes REAL food. Alot.
Speaking of Simon, he is starting to finally get the hang of the potty business. I'm sure it will take a lot of work still, but maybe soon we will only have to worry about one kid in diapers. YAY.
Zoe is loving her new school and second grade. She goes to a neat private school that we love. It is just right for her, and challanges her and she doesn't get away with not doing stuff (she gets it from me).
Morgan is almost as tall as me and will be eleven next month too. She is so smart and tall and beautiful, it's hard to believe. We are one lucky family.

For Halloween we are doing the Roosevelt Community Church Candy Walk (meet us on Texas Street if you want to join us!) and then checking out our new neighborhood for good candy giving houses. Zoe is going as a frog this year, and Simon has a red dragon costume that he is excited for, Morgan is having a big Halloween party with her mom this year and I know she told me like five hundred times what she is going to be but I forgot again and I'll have to fill you in later. And for Isla I wanted to get a lobster costume and carry her around while I wear Nathan's chef coat, but so far I've only found a pumpkin one for her. But that's ok, I'm only in it for the Reeces Peanut Butter Cups so I only have to fool a few people and chefs cook pumpkins too.

Sometimes it amazes me that we are a family of six. That's more than one hand people!
I ablsolutly love every single crazy minute of it.

I saw this on a blog I read often, and couldn't help but make my own...

Lies I Tell Myself:

1. I will go to bed early tonight, and finish the cleaning/laundry/dishes in the morning when I wake up early because I went to bed so early.

2. Even though it is later than I meant to go to sleep, I will still get up early to finish the cleaning/laundry/dishes.

3. I will finish the cleaning/laundry/dishes when I get home from work.

4. I will finish the cleaning/laundry/dishes on Friday when I don't have to go to work.

5. I will hire someone to do the cleaning/laundry/dishes.

6. I will make dinner using one of the amazing recipes from The Fancy Cookbook.

7. I will make something other than tacos or burgers with the ground beef in the freezer.

8. I have time to volunteer more at Zoe's school.

9. The van is supposed to make that weird rumble noise.

10. I'll mow the lawn before it rains.

11. Ten more minutes of sleep will make all the difference.

12. My hair looks cute this way.

13. I'm going to chase down that lady that lets her dog poop in our yard.

14. I will remember that I put my car keys/work badge/glasses right here where they don't go.

15. I will only go on Facebook for a few minutes.

16. I've totally got it all together.

Goodbye Summer Sun

The summer has officially flown by us with startling speed. We saw many of our close friends get married this summer, with front row seats. We moved. We neglected our new lawn and garden, but it rained so seldom that it's all nice and dead now anyways. We had an anniversary. Isla started crawling and got some teeth. Zoe is enrolled in a new school. We did a little camping and got through two more birthdays (Zoe and Nathan). Phew.
Then this morning I had to put on a jacket to head out the door and I realized that it was September first and summer was on it's last gasp of sunny days and warmth and I was suddenly fighting back tears.
This summer has been awesome, and mostly because I have had the opportunity to stay home with the kids through most of it. I have loved being here for all of the fun lazy dog days of summer. I loved reading board books in the lawn (not mowed) and making grilled cheese for lunch. I loved feeding Isla her first strawberries and then blueberries and then blackberries, all fresh from our yard (or neighbors). I loved chasing Simon and Zoe down the slip and slide. I loved watching Isla steal Simon's pacifiers back the day she learned to crawl. I loved Being Home and all it entailed, even the diapers and cleaning and yard work (oops).
Fall is coming, my unemployment runs out in October and there is so much to be done at work that there is no way I can ignore it any longer. I didn't even know I would like being home as much as I have and now it is time to go back to the Old Amanda Routine. Just knowing this makes me feel frantically crazy and desperate to find some way to make one income work. It makes me feel kind of sick, having to begin the hunt for new childcare (we have had someone wonderful available during the little bit I worked this summer, but she's going back to work soon too)and the thought of someone else's hands holding and feeding and caring for my kids. Who will respond to Simon when he hollars, "MommyMommyMomMomMom" after skinning his knees?
Ugh.
So, I cried a little in the car today on my way to work, and began a new prayer that the kids won't forget these days that we have had together this summer. I am so grateful that we have had these days, this awesome rain free summer.

Good Friday, at it's finest

Today is Good Friday. In the Christian faith, Good Friday is a day of mourning and sacrifice. The day of Christ's crucifixion. In the church I grew up in, we "celebrated" this day by decorating the church in black. The alter was stripped of all decoration and draped in black. There was no singing in the service, and the focus was entirely on the grief wrapped around the sacrifice of God's Son. I have always found this day to be important to me, and so relevant. One can not fully experience the joy of standing on the mountain top, of a life renewed, without first traveling through the depths of the valleys.
So I find it somewhat fitting that today our day is filled with Simon's CT scan and the funeral of a close friend.
As most of you know, I grew up as an only child, but never really considered myself one. Next door to my house lived The Nace's - Sandy, Larry, and their eventual four children. I met Jenna and Roberta when I was three, maybe four, and as their family grew to include Grady and Jody, I got experience life as a big sister. I love this family as my own, and always will. Last Friday, Larry, their father, passed away unexpectedly in his sleep. There is a whole story regarding his heart, but the gist of it is that we all know exactly where he is. As christians go, he was one of the strongest and most amazing. It was his goal in life to be a man of God, and he was very successful. So today we celebrate his life, because as Christians we also know that there is joy in the mourning.
Simon, on the other hand, probably won't be up to too much celebrating. The CT scan is done already, but in order to do it we had to sedate his wiggly self. The scan took all of two minutes and now we are sort of stuck here waiting for him to wake up. I don't think we'll know any results right away, but as soon as we do I'll keep you posted.
So today, on this Good Friday, don't forget to look for the joy that is coming. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but soon, and in the meantime, don't be afraid to grieve.

From A whole heap of pictures

My son.

Today we were supposed to be packing and taking a load of things to Goodwill (which Zoe still calls Good Wheel), but instead Simon had what we think was a partial seizure.  He was with my mom and got upset (really upset, crying really hard) after playing with his toys in the basement and when she went to pick him up he arched his back stuck his arms out all tense and funny. He stopped breathing too and she had to squeeze him tight and rub his chest to get him to snap out of it. When she brought him upstairs where I was cooking he was all pale and sweaty and tired. He was confused too and wouldn't talk to us at all, he just wanted to snuggle and nap. The thing is that he's done this before, for a long time.  We even brought it up to our doctor at one point, but at the time it seemed more like an intense toddler tantrum than anything else. Now though, we are starting to get worried about it. 

Our doctor took us in thirty minutes later and checked him out. We started Simon on a bunch of tests and I had to hold him down while he got his blood drawn. Next he gets to have a CAT scan. 

These episodes only seem to happen about once a month, but they definitely seem to be getting worse. We are especially unimpressed with the not breathing bit and how he postures himself while it happens - all signs of seizures. 

I'm not even really sure what to think at this point. When we got home I fed him lunch and held him while he napped.  

In reality though, nothing has really changed. Simon is still Simon, and these episodes he has are nothing totally new, it's just that we are trying to get to the bottom of them. It's hard to not think too hard about all the possibilities and so far I've been good and not Googled too many scenarios.  

So tomorrow we will get up in the morning, visit the goats next door and try to schedule a CAT scan. You know, another ordinary day. 

Babies

So I am currently at the hospital in the labor and delivery wing for the first time as a NOT PATIENT. Today is Mary's day and she is going to have baby Isaac, eventually. My mom is watching the kids for me and I am here with Cameron and Mary's mom just sort of waiting. But it's a good kind of wait, you know?

It is interesting to be here on this side of the delivery bed! I still get that warm happy feeling listening to the baby's heartbeat though, even if it isn't from one of my babies. Something about that sound brings back the wonder of it all. It is Saint Patrick's Day and we are lucky because the hospital food is pretty good today - corned beef and cabbage and bangers and mash. I even snuck in a bottle of Kilt Lifter beer for Cameron. For later.

Right now two of the four people in here are snoring, so I am thinking it will be awhile before the little guy joins us.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Bigger?

From A whole heap of pictures

Wrong Tuesday

It's Tuesday and  I was just trying to figure out what to do with the day. I was a whole week ahead of myself and got the kids all dressed and ready to go to Isla's next weight check before I realized that I would have been about seven days early. Now I am watching Simon attempt to drive matchbox cars over the cat while she does her preemptive "I'm going to freaking eat you" growl. I'm finding it harder and harder to gain motivation to do things like housework and job searching. So instead I've been doing things like going to the park and knitting hats and playing at Malia's house. Way way way more fun. The guilt though has started to creep in a bit. And the pile of things in the sink (dishes?) is getting really gross. Oh and when Nathan gets home he looks around the house and scowls at me. 

So today is the day.  I've already turned on the giant espresso machine and as soon as I pull a couple of good shots its off to house-maker mode. But don't worry, it's only temporary. During the five weeks I got to stay home after Simon was born, my friends told me that Nathan did a better job at keeping the house clean than I did. As mad as I was at them, it was totally true. 

Little Isla is still doing pretty good. She had another disappointing weight check while Nathan was gone in El Salvador, but I started giving her a bottle of formula every night before bed and she's back up again. She is now at ten pounds seven ounces. It amazes me to think that some babies come out that big!  We are still nursing every two hours so we don't get out that much. I miss my friends a lot lately. Friends, I miss you! The job hunt continues and the house hunt has begun. All those things together keep me pretty occupied. 

Nathan had an amazing time in El Salvador. He is really excited about his job again, and where it is taking him. I keep trying to picture where he and I will be even just a year from now and I can't. It deffinately won't be where we are now!

We have some good friends that are on an amazing journey. They are going to live in Africa to help develop and run a retreat center for local pastors. They just got back from visiting the area and are now in the process of coming up with a plan for funding.  This is something that Nathan and I have always dreamed of doing.  I think it will happen for us some day, maybe when the kids are older. If you want to pray for our friends, or keep up with their adventures, you can visit their blog at www.thehuckabyfamily.blogspot.com.

Anyways, that is probably enough procrastinating and disjointed rambling for now. I'll see if I can get some more cute pictures up of the kids soon!